Love & Friendship

Maybe we've gotten it wrong.

Maybe we should treat lovers like friends and friends like lovers.

All the drama, intense emotions, up-and-downs - those belong in a friendship. It's the kind of ship that's made to be battered by strong winds and relentless waves. Being together with a group of friends should be all hands on deck as you sail through life - adventurous, sword in hand, parrot on shoulder! Laugh wildly, cry madly, puke constantly (from nights of alcohol abuse). On the other hand, being with a lover should be like being on a luxury cruise. Do the buffet. Do the casino. Do the pool. Then do it in the bed - you'll probably be able to rock it harder than the huge-ass cruise ship would in a storm.

I don't know if that comparison works cos I haven't actually been on a cruise ship before. But you get the drift.

We approach love like we deserve the best. So we try lovers like we're at a buffet, stuffing ourselves till we become sick, like you can never have your fill, like there's a better dish to try. But lovers are more like porridge, bland but it perseveres  It's something you can stick with for life, in sickness in health, when you're young and after you've become old. It's not a McSpicy, it's not a Double Down. A lover's a comfortable constant. Friends, however, are the buffet. They come in all shapes and sizes, all tastes and flavours. They should be different from you, complement you in some way. Each one a different perspective, each one pushing you out of your comfort zone, forcing you to grow, daring you to try something new, challenging you... yes, that's what friends are for!

Most people don't choose friends based on looks. More often than not, it's the after effect of having gone through a common experience, fighting common battles, going through shit together. Just like that, they stick. But maybe that's how being in a relationship should be like. Lots of us-against-the-world, constant struggle to be accepted by each other, vindicated by others (very forbidden love, ala Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast etc), forging a future together. That's how a strong bond is built. Friendships should be more superficial, kind of like blind dates. You decide within 5 minutes whether you like the person, whether there's chemistry, whether you can be bothered to contact them again and whether you'd do cool stuff with them. You don't have to commit to one and you don't have to commit the rest of your life!

It'll be interesting for friends to be treated to an overdose of passion, excitement and drama; and for lovers to be treated with stability, support and simplicity.

So just maybe, we should treat our friends like lovers and lovers like friends.

Wealth Over the Edge

"Wealth Over the Edge: Singapore" is a Wall Street Journal article that has been popular with many friends on Facebook. It takes a look at how Singapore is now the playground for the rich, why they're gathering here more so than anywhere else in the world. It's refreshing, with a standard of reporting that's sorely lacking in local paper, and objective, stating the highs without ignoring the lows. Like the fact that you can't have a nightspot selling a glass of $26k champagne with a diamond in it without having a Ferrari crash into a taxi.

What's undeniable is that the same people who have brought their riches to Singapore are the ones driving prices up - property prices, car prices, food prices. Of course I do buy in to the logic that it's preferable that they spend their money here. With that comes their businesses here and talent! But it puts a lot of pressure on the average Singaporean who definitely has aspirations of being anything but average. We want it all - from having a place to call our own to owning items from luxury brands that have set up shop along Orchard Road and Marina Bay Sands. It all seems out of reach. 

That's why our priorities are a little skewed and work-life balance is a myth.

All these aside, the same things that attract the rich to our shores are the advantages that we take for granted. - order, predictability and control. Maybe, instead of whining about how difficult it is living here, we need to find ways of exploiting the situation,  using the winds to our benefit.  This moment, more than any other in the country's history, we're wealthy and there are opportunities abound. 

Rather than wallow in self-pity or angry facebook posts, maybe it's time to channel our energy into finding a way to get what we want and eventually, be satisfied with the life we lead. 

Yesterday I

Yesterday at Sweat! I...

Started off with a warm-up which ended with Turkish Get-up. It was more challenging than I expected.

And then the circuit. Squats with medicine ball, resistance band row, lunges, insane push-ups, Vipr jumping jacks. It ended off with 4 sets of 20 second sprints, for me, on the TRX.

Repeat, two more times.

Before cool down, we did ab exercises on the medicine ball.

Needless to say, today, my legs hurt badly. My stomach is cramping up every time I cough or sneeze. I feel the need to stretch it out every five minutes. My body's kind of in sleep mode.

Basically, now, I should be hiding in bed for the entire weekend.

Ouch.

Welcome 2013

I welcome 2013 with open arms and not because 2012 hasn't been good. It's because 2012 has been good, possibly one of the best years of my life, and 2013's going to open doors to greater things!

So maybe, very quickly, a look back at some bits of my life that are worthy of mention in 2012, and that I have plans for in 2013.

Relationships
When it comes to people I guess I have been spoiled. I let go off more people than I should have, mainly because I didn't know any better. So now I do know better and I count my blessings. I will fight harder for you to be in my life, family and friends. You deserve it as you've stuck around when I deserved it the least. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world and I know it. I don't take it for granted and maybe now it's time to show it. Now I see it's not important that people share the some interests, come from the same background or speak the same language. It's the willingness to stay in contact and believing that through our connection, we become better people.

It's something I sincerely believe in, that we learn and love and are enriched by the people around us. That's the basis of relationships, human interaction, and our connection.

Money
Dammit I promise to only buy things that are on sale! Or not. Maybe lesser on iTunes. It is my new year's resolution not to go to weddings? If only I could. Not that I don't like to celebrate happiness, of course. This tradition is particularly stifling and money draining. Save up on the small stuff and gun for the big purchases. I'm glad my laptop is still around after 5 years, going 6 I believe. It must survive one more year. I'm not ready to get a new one. I hate eating expensive food. I enjoy the ambiance. I like hanging out with friends at restaurants over delicious dinner. There's something cosy about getting together in an excessively well-furnished interior. But is it necessary? I hate spending money on food.

Like many people my age, getting a place of my own and possibly a car are the two things that I really want but seem so out of reach. Ridiculously out of reach. That and constantly feeling upset about public transport are some of the things I have to deal with living here. But if you think about it, that's pretty tame compared to living elsewhere in the world.

I'd love to get my own place. Save on the small stuff, the expensive stuff and the stuff in-between and hope this will happen soon.

Fitness
Stellar, really. I've never been more fit in my life. I've never had to train so hard. I've never had to run so much, so far. I've never had to work out till I feel like throwing up. I've never had to expend so much mental energy to find physical strength I never (knew I) had! It's an amazing collections of challenges, from races (Men's Health Urbanathlon, Sundown, King of the Road Malaysia, Standard Chartered Half-Marathon) to IPPTs. There were also work out sessions at Sweat!, a little bit of trekking at Taman Negara, cycling in Darwin... It's super fun to engage my entire being in such activities. It's when I feel most alive!

So this year it's going to be more of the same. I'm going to continue my circuit training. I'm going to continue running, but will definitely cut down on the races. (I think I managed to complete something like 10 last year!) I hope the strength and endurance I gain will not only help me in new sports that I may take up this year, but also exploring the world around me. Hopefully I'll have the chance to go overseas to race, climb mountains, canoe in rivers, hike in forests and cycle in the countryside.

Of course, looking good in a pair of boardshorts for Zoukout 2013 will be awesome too.

Writing and Teaching
I'd like to pretend that being chummy with people is a skill, but clearly it isn't! What I'm left with, I think, is writing and teaching. I enjoy both very much and hope to really do more this year. It's getting tougher because the tuition well is drying up and I haven't been making enough effort to find kids. I guess that's my fault and also possibly my word-of-mouth among parents hasn't been particularly outstanding, despite what I think, is my rather outstanding track record teaching upper Secondary School Mathematics! And writing, well, I'll start with stringing together more words for this blog! I've been neglecting it severely last year, partly because, well, it's sort of an identity-crisis for me really. I no longer know what to write about, when so much of what I do is work. And also then there's a lot of laziness too.

But no more excuses. Maybe a few more posts what I've been through outside of work, and also a bit of insight on the work I do. No harm in that alright! Not as if I've been shutting down my social media presence. I'll get down to it. My review of Wreck-It Ralph tomorrow maybe?

I'm very happy that the first week of 2013 has gone by smoothly, except for the weather. The rain has got to stop, especially when I get off work. Other than that I had fun ringing in the new year with people I love, cosy celebrations, happiness and activities (mahjong, mahjong, mahjong) I enjoy.

To a fruitful 2013.

Working out at Sweat!

I’ve been going to Sweat! since late June (21st to be precise) and people have been asking me about it.  If you're interested you can check out their facebook page. The first introductory session for newbies is free so make a date and I could go down with you if you want!

I've waited till now to blog because I wanted to go through enough to gain something from it and see some results before sharing here. Anyway, the place is situated at Cantonment, relatively far from my work place and also far from home, but I keep going back because Sweat! has made working out fun for me and I enjoy the experience.

Working with the trainer and boss, Wai Yee, is great! She's professional, knowledgeable and passionate. The motivation she provides is also priceless. A large part of my improvement in fitness is due to her cheering me on when I thought I was done! The best part about going through the session is knowing that you’re going to get something intense but you can give it your all and you won’t get injured. She'll make sure that you'll be doing it right. For those who have injuries or unable to do the exercises, she can tweak it! So no worries about that.

I remember trying a kettlebell exercise at home and injured my back, causing it to be wonky for awhile. After a couple of sessions back at Sweat! doing the exercises properly, strengthening the smaller muscles around the area that hurt, stretching out the pain, now I’m as good as new.

There’s more than one type of session, the most common being circuit training. With minimal rest after each station, you’re pushed to keep your heart rate up. At the end of it all you feel like you've done a crazy cardio session but at the same time, your muscles are aching like you've lifted an elephant. Amazing. Exercising to the music and hearing the *beep beep beep* signalling the end of each set before counting down the rest time to the start of the next, it’s a cycle that keeps you on your toes and out of breath!

No two sessions are ever the same. That’s the cool part. I’m never bored. I’m always challenged. Every time I step through the door, I don’t know how hard I have to push or what we're going to do. But I know I've to give it my best to make the best of the one hour! There's a lot of co-ordination and balancing work for each station. It’s tough but also fun. It’s FUNctional training, not strength for strength’s sake, or for bulking up. It's what I want for myself and what I believe in. It's what makes me committed.

And that leads me to the next thing, which is learning something new. When faced with something different really refreshing to see what your body can do! I learn to do new variations of exercises, like the push-up, I learn the limits of my endurance, I learn how to move my body in different ways, I learn new stretching techniques, I learn how to have good form, I learn how to balance, I learn to “enjoy the pain”. That keeps me going back for more, the opportunity to train and to learn.

Learning with "classmates" boosts my motivation as well. When the exercises are announced, you can always expect to see someone who, like you, has his eyes wide in shock! I like the feeling of working out in a group – there’s a lot of motivation, people to follow, and the feeling that you’re all in it together. Seeing people who are able to handle it makes you able to handle it. And that’s how I manage to push myself. It’s one big family there, full of familiar faces and it’s nice knowing that you’re not alone.

After going to Sweat! I'm more knowledgeable about how my body works. My approach to fitness has changed. I challenge myself. I've never worked out so hard, even during army. I take it really seriously but it's also a lot of fun.

I feel fitter. Maybe I'll see some improvement in my scores when I take my IPPT next Saturday. I do feel like I'm ready to climb a mountain or something though!

I look fitter. For that, you'll just have to take my word for it!

Halloween Horror Nights 2 - 10 Things

1. Be there at 8pm sharp. You need to get a head start on the crowd. The earlier you are, the more you get to see, the less you have to wait!

2. If you're in the normal queue, don't hate the people with the Express Pass. If you have the Express Pass, don't hate the VIPs. If you're VIP, try not to gloat openly. (R.I.P Tour passes are available for $148.) Moral of the story is be prepared to wait a little and self-entertain!

3. The main attractions are definitely the three Haunted Houses! Hit Death Alley first, to get a taste of the underbelly of Chinatown before putting your gall to the test at the Dungeon of Damnation. It was, for me, the highlight of the event. The last house is The Insanitarium, which is all the way in. Give it a miss if you run out of time!

4. Be brave. You're here for fear. Open your eyes. Peer through the corridors. Keep your eyes trained on nooks and crannies. Every turn a surprise. Watch where you're going. At times, you might even want to look up at the ceiling!

5. Try not to stay too close to the group ahead of you. You'll see all the tricks prematurely. Where's the fun in that!

6. Bring your cameras with you! Handphone cameras don't do the pictures justice in the scare zones. Total Lockdown and Bizarre Bazaar are fantastic, but for different reasons. There's a lot to see and you'll definitely slow down to admire the destruction and er... torture. Very S&M some bits. A+.

7. Rides are open this time round. They're not the essential but if you've time to spare, Battlestar Gallactica's queue moved quickly last night. The Transformers was the absolute best - the future of storytelling, I must say! Amazing, but extremely popular. Average queue time was 60 mins for Express Pass. The Jurassic Park ride was good too and a great way to cool off if you're feeling hot.

8. There's a Halloween musical called Monster Rock at Pantages Hollywood Theater. Take a breather from the heart-arresting attractions and catch the 11.30pm show (but be there at 11.15 for good seats). Great music, energetic dancing... 21 minutes of great entertainment!

9. Don't wear expensive jewellery. We saw this girl looking for her bling on the floor for a good 15 minutes, with staff and friends searching fruitlessly with her, and her throwing a bitch fit. No loose items in general!

10. If you're not scared, play your part and scream a little maybe? It gives the scare actors a bit more motivation and you get a better show! Well, of course, hopefully it doesn't come down to that and you pee in your pants instead.