Monday, August 31, 2009

A Good Fake

My treatment for COM 424:

JON is an executive who works in a PR firm. He has been happily married for two years but has no kids. Every day, he w¬akes up to a hearty breakfast prepared by his wife, YVONNE.

He arrives at the office and is greeted enthusiastically by his colleagues. This morning, he wanders around looking for his partner DUKE to inform him of a colleague’s bachelor party. He continues his search in the pantry and other places until he wanders into the toilet and he hears scuffling in the last stall. Thinking that something is amiss, he bursts the stall door open only to find Duke making out with his wife, STACEY. He stands motionless, blinking a couple of times before coming to his senses and turning away, but not before the image of Stacey’s bare, braless back imprints itself in his mind. Duke swears loudly and kicks the door close but it bounces back open to hit his outstretched hand and he gives an unnatural yelp of pain. Jon turns to look again. Duke grabs the door and locks it while Jon uses his hands to cover his eyes, feeling guilty but turned on at the same time.

Later, Duke confronts Jon about the “unintentional interruption”. Jon looks sheepish initially but turns the tables on Duke, questioning his lack of judgement for having a tryst in the toilet. Duke mutters something about excitement in public space. Jon saves him further embarrassment by asking him to attend the bachelor party and after persuasion, Duke agrees.

The bachelor party happens on a cruise with music, strippers and plenty of booze. Jon makes a rude speech about marriage and then announces that the strippers perform, one of whom dances up on Duke. Jon catches the look on Duke’s face as the stripper teases him but stops short of any real action. After a round of rapturous applause, Duke takes a seat beside Jon. In their half-drunken state, Jon teases Duke about his monogamy before casually suggesting that they “swop” wives for the night as “technically” would not be cheating – both of their wives would be getting laid. They laughed at the idea, calling it ludicrous before brushing it off.

Jon, Yvonne, Duke and Stacey spend a day at the beach. Both couples are having fun, chatting, sipping margaritas by a beach bar and they get up to play a game of beach volleyball. Yvonne spikes the ball hard in Duke’s face, to which he lets out an unnatural yelp of pain. Tasting iron, Duke dabs his wrist on his lower lip only to see a big splotch of blood. The women gasp while Duke, mumbling that everything was alright, grabs Jon into the toilet to wash up with him. Jon protests by calling Duke a weakling but follows him anyway.

Duke washes the blood from his mouth. He tells Jon that he has been thinking of his proposal about the “swop”, especially after being so distracted by Yvonne in her bikini, which was what caused him to get hit by the ball. Duke speaks funny because of his swelling lip, much to Jon’s amusement. Jon is taken by surprise at this sudden revelation but treads gently, knowing that this is his chance. They think about how to switch places without their wives knowing and start comparing their physique and whether they could pull it off. Finally they decide that they would go on a trip together to Bintan in a month while taking the time to prepare and plan so as to prevent their wives from knowing the difference.

Jon and Duke work out together. Jon cuts his hair shorter while Duke grows his longer. Jon even waxes his chest. However to their dismay Yvonne tells Jon that she is against going Bintan that weekend because of her period which would not allow her to enjoy being at the beach to the fullest. Jon and Duke panic as the they have applied for leave that weekend. Jon and Duke visit a Chinese sinseh who gives them a cocktail of herbs that make Yvonne’s period arrive early. Jon sneaks it into a soup that he claims to have “cooked”. It works and she agrees to go on the trip.

The evening before the trip, Jon sits down with Duke at his place and they plan how it should happen. They have booked semi-detached bungalows which are next to each other so that they can sneak into each other’s rooms at night. They are then forced to reveal their sexual habits to each other so as not to arouse the suspicions of their wives. Jon almost backs out when he hears some of Duke’s rather long list of things-to-do such as both of them sharing a mint before a session but Duke convinces Jon that it is not as difficult as it seems. Duke comes up with a list and makes Jon memorise it before he is convinced that he would not blow his cover. Jon, on the other hand, had a more straightforward routine. Duke criticised him for being boring and unromantic but Jon shot back by saying that he has always “hit his target” and that he would know the extent of Duke’s prowess should he get “complaints” the following morning. They then set their watches to the same time.

The next day, the happy foursome set out on their trip to Bintan. They enjoy the sun, sea and sand. They indulge in volleyball, they even managed to kayak, ride the ATV, go for full-body massages and to top it all off, enjoy a luxurious, romantic dinner separately by the beach.

Following that the both of them get their wives into bed. At 2AM sharply both of them get out of bed and exit the door silently. They signal thumbs up to each other, go down a short flight of steps to switch over when suddenly, Jon rushes back to his patio. Jon then points to the rather large monitor lizard at the bottom of the steps. Duke is about to throw Jon down the steps until Jon signals that he will climb across his patio to the Duke’s patio. He slips halfway and the sound causes Duke to slap his forehead in frustration.

Jon enters the room cautiously and snuggles up to Stacey. In a few moments, soft moans begin coming from the sheets.

Duke enters the room cautiously and snuggles up to Yvonne. Yvonne turns rather abruptly to face Duke and accidentally elbows his mouth to which he emits a muffled but unnatural yelp. Not knowing what to do he just lays there as still as a rock.

Yvonne leans in closer and in a dreamy voice, whispers in his ear that she knows it is him. She admits that she has fantasised about him. Then, she kisses him.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

3 Days MC

Of all the stupid things I've done, this has got to go down as one of the dumbest. I didn't take a 3-day MC that was offered to me because I thought I didn't need it and that I'd recover by Monday. After puking and tonnes of other stuff, and the fact that I've not eaten soid food since Friday, I highly doubt I can finish my 424 assignment by tomorrow.

I'm not even in good shape to go to school!

Guess I'll just have to spend the rest of my time forcing myself to get down to work anyway and be strong. Even though I feel like I've been thoroughly punched and kicked in the stomach like the losers in those Hong Kong gangster movies.

PS thanks to everyone who's asked me how I was. Appreciated.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Getting Started

I complain about being at home because I don't have personal space and all that but it's actually comfortable sitting at the dining table, typing away at my laptop and not having to worry about stuff.

Yes I smell the end of my CI Club stint. Voting for the 17th will happen tomorrow, the results will be announced and AGM will happen next Wednesday and everything will end.

Being at home makes me productive although hanging out at Lee Wee Nam yesterday was very awesome too. I know it won't be the same once the exams start drawing nearer but I think it's a good place to study, with the air con and nice chairs and not hard benches.

I even went for a run in the morning. After about an hour of procrastination. That's an improvement! Following that I started on my 431 assignment. I think I'm figuring out what makes me do work. I just have to be at the lappy, just START and then I'd be in the midst of completing the work and actually enjoying myself. I've finished most of my Friday's presentation on Creative ZEN already.

Till facebook disturbed me of course.

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

Somebody Call 911

As far as weekends go, this one was a blast. Old Hollywood Glamour, WKWSCI's DND, was held on a cruise. The talents were very entertaining and I enjoyed myself with the huge gang of Y3s who went. I think Master Liew said this was the first time we've ever had such a huge group of seniors attend DND.

I was lucky enough to won 5 free scoops of ice-cream from Udders during the lucky draw and unlucky enough to have lost them after a short photo-taking session. It was worth $20 and I wanted to gorge myself silly. I won't let that get in the way. I will go down to Udders even if it means I have to pay for it.

Clubbed two nights on a row. That night was spent at Butter Factory and the following night at Rebel in celebration of Jac's birthday. I enjoyed myself because I was really in the zone and felt one with the music. I know why I get such a reaction when I start dancing - I'm funnier than those pro dancers and I've got more groove than the guy swinging around like a gorilla. Hell, I'd pay to see me dance.

Most importantly it was the company. I had fun cos of you guys. You know who you are.

Enough of late nights (slept at 5 and woke up at 10 for tuition on both Saturday and Sunday) and alcohol (I merlioned beside the Merlion) for the time-being. It's time to once again hit the books and get some work done since school is on a roll already. I don't want to try to catch the last train when I know that it's too late.

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wee Ride

The night was crazy, we started a bit later than we expected but everything went very smoothly.

We entertained ourselves singing everything from Jai Ho to Tearin' Up My Heart, from Pokerface to Born To Make You Happy. We didn't sing any rock songs though. It's kind of weird to sing rock songs when you're on a cycling high.

Nicoll Highway was a bit of an adventure. A crazy car drove past the line beside us, in the opposite direction. As it turns out there was a road block in front, so the guy was probably drunk or on drugs. We were saying that the guy had big balls for pulling such a stunt but they probably shrunk upon seeing the police which was why he turned to flee.

When we reached East Coast Park we started off right at the front. It was like Tour de France.

By the time we were done with the phototaking, my clique was half-dead. I wasn't all that lethargic but finally succumbed to the zzz monster on Shah's car back home.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Karma

Karma's a bitch so don't go around breaking other people's hearts if you don't want others breaking yours.

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Chase You Down Until You Love Me

What can I say that hasn't already been said?

That Lady Gaga's magical and so real, as a personality and as an artiste. She does what she believes in, lives it and breathes it. And she really works her ass off. It was special as it was her first time headlining a 10,000-crowd concert. I liked how she constantly engaged the crowd, knowing that the her being awesome wasn't good enough and the audience's reaction was what she had to evoke. Plenty of fucks, middle fingers, outrageous posing and a 15-minute Pokerface certainly did that.

At the end everyone was proud of Chilli Crab, astounded to have sung "I Love Singapore" 3 days after National Day and changed their facebook status to "Lady Gaga said to fuck off!" .

I was inspired by her boundless energy and work ethic. She's not just a blonde bitch in a buncha bubbles. She's Lady Gaga.

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A Bit Lost

It's just that sinking feeling that I can't describe, the kind where you're in a dark place and you just feel helpless. As hard as I try, I can't pinpoint what's causing it. It might be because I'm not busy, or for the first time I don't feel focused.

The new school semester has started and it's a pain to go through the entire cycle once more. I enjoy most of my lessons so I want to take those that I'm interested in so I won't regret. I don't want to end up with lousy grades. I don't want to end up having to SU a mod.

And somehow it's just so different having to go home at the end of the day. Kind of weird but I'm just going to have to tell myself that it's OK.

I think I just need some time to get back into the groove of everything. Going to school again is like being a stranger in your own home.

You've got that right. I hate this part right here.

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Saturday, August 08, 2009

Mr Procrastinator

I did go for a run eventually.

But that was after doing nothing online for about 2 hours. I told myself the night before that I would get up early and I did. I just couldn't stop myself from turning on the computer even though I've visited ONTD and facebook the night before. I just stoned and found every reason not to get out of the house until I was so disgusted with myself that I dragged myself, running shoes and all, out of the door, one and a half hours later than what I'd expected.

I guess I'm somewhat motivated. I did manage to go for a run in the end. But I can't help but think of all the time I could've saved if I hadn't moped around and try to convince myself that I should be chilling at home instead.

I think it's the computer's fault. I will not turn it on in the morning.

When I was on ONTD during lectures it wasn't really a waste of time becuase I was sort of multi-tasking - being entertained and attending a lesson at the same time. Now it's just completely not worth my time! Argh!

To more exercise and less procrastination.

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Friday, August 07, 2009

Bye Bye Bintan

Okay, just a few photos of the last day spent in Bintan. There weren't many photos because we kept to the same old places and we were rushing to be in time for the ferry home.

We actually overslept and missed the buffet breakfast so we got out our cup noodles instead! One bad thing about the Nirwana Beach Club cabana rooms is that they don't provide hot water flasks or the equivalent. We had to walk out to the dining area where the waitress was very helpful and prepared everything for us As we had our breakfast by the beach!

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This is the platform that's an awesome place to chill out whether it's day or night!

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We went back to the Pool Bar to chill again!

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This time we got Budy to make us three drinks which all looked rather exotic. They were splashed with bright orangey tones and tasted refreshing. There was this lady in a bikinichilling out there... until her boyfriend came over with a birty cake and they started playing the song for her at the bar.

The best part was that just as I was wondeng how the two of them were going to finish the cake, they offered me and my friend a piece each, and a huge one for Budy! Hahaha... it was awesome.

I like how Bintan is much more relaxed than say, Phuket but because we ere in the hotel most of the time we didn't get to do much exploring. I suppose there's a need to strike a balance but I enjoyed myself a lot and I'll probably want to go back soon, just to go for tht trekking trip I missed!

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

This Is A Photo Post

First up, last Friday's OGL Kbox. I had a hell lot of fun and we're going again this Friday! YAY!!!

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This is the last time I'm going to put the camera on timer. I only come back just in time and everyone looks cuddled and stuck together while I look like an outcast. It's not happening again you hear me? NEVER!

My cousin celebrated her 21st birthday last saturday (next saturday's my grandfather's birthday celebration) and it was quite the party. The highlight would be me singing Lady Gaga songs into my Primary 3 cousin's ear. She was very very irritated. Everyone else was very very tickled.

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And finally, Sequeena and I celebrated Si Hua's birthday with a steamboat at Bugis! Woah, the "new" DSLR is really cool and Nana brought out my camwhoring side which I've kept hidden for very very long!

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JUST DANCE!

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