Thursday, February 05, 2015

Resisting the Urge to Text


My name is Jason and I think I'm addicted to texting.

It's not a serious. I'm sure I'm far from the only one who is! It's hard to escape when there are chat-apps like WhatsApp, Line, Snapchat and GChat, and then there are those with chat functions like facebook and Tinder.

The reason that they are there is because we can't get enough of texting. There's a need for us to connect instantly like a drug. At any time, I am able reach out to multiple people at once. So many brains, so many personalities, so many characters... find out what they're doing, what inspires them, what's on their mind. I text most when I'm travelling because, well, what else are you supposed to do right? But sometimes, even when we're out with our family and friends, we're texting to find out how other people are doing! It's an addiction, and for many of us, a form of escape from boredom, from being in the present.

So recently, I got to know this friend who touches his phone about 10 times a day. 10 times! His last seen on WhatsApp could be 8 hours ago. 8 hours! Compared to me, well, my last seen on WhatsApp is probably 2 minutes ago at any time of the day. He is a busy man, I get it, but if he's not on WhatsApp then how do his colleagues ask him for lunch? Or go to a meeting? Or give him work-related info? I was baffled. If I were to do that, I'd be crippled. I can't imagine living like that!

It then led me to wonder: What if I could? What if I could let go a little and resist the urge to touch my phone every second?

So, in an attempt to be more present, I've tossed my phone aside, put it out of reach. I've even switched it off for a couple of hours a day, which I found to be the most effective way of disconnecting. I focus on what I'm doing. I could be watching a TV show, writing or hanging out with a friend. With some effort, I stay away from my phone and after awhile, I forget it exists!

As with all cold turkey treatments, it's hard not to give in to the impulse. The most difficult time for me is when I'm by myself, and the need to feel connected is amplified. Some parts of me actually feel physical pain when my brain tells my hand not to reach for my phone.

It's been liberating. I no longer feel like I'm an answering machine. It's calming. I don't feel like I'm doing multiple things at once, all the time. I'm more focused. I get on with my tasks. They reap the feel-good-factor less instantly, but lasts way longer than the high of punching words on the phone. Oh, and that feeling of waiting for people to reply dies along with the desire to text. You don't measure your self-worth by the number of texts you receive or the number of people who text you. You learn to enjoy your own company, or that of people next to you, more.

Another thing is that if you text each other less, you'd have more to share when you meet up. And when the conversation flows, you wouldn't think of looking at the phone at all. When you resist the urge to text, you're in the moment, and when you enjoy the present, you won't feel the need to escape.

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